I love sitting on the sofa watching Judge Judy while eating chocolate…for an hour. I watch the hour long back to back Judge Judy-a-thon from 6-7pm so don’t call me during that hour. It never fails though, I get calls galore during that hour and some people just don’t get the hint when they ask, “So, what are you doing?” I say: “I’m watching Judge Judy” and then….they keep talking as if Judge Judy is no big deal! Seriously! When I tell you I’m watching Judge Judy that is your cue to say, “Oops! I’ll talk to you later!” Do I have to spell it out for ya Grandma? I’m watching Judge Judy! Call 911 if you can’t breathe, I’m busy. I’ll meet you in the ER at 7:01, geeez! With some people it’s just me, me, me.
That could be what’s putting a damper on my fitness program, but Judy is worth it. She tells it like it is! She actually gets to tell stupid people that they are idiots! I mean, she actually uses the word “idiot” as well as “moron” and “stupid!” The weirdest part is that these idiots just stand there and take it! Some of these morons actually smile and giggle when she tells them that they are idiots, which, I guess, confirms her diagnosis, huh?
I would love to be able to get paid to tell idiots that they are idiots! I do it for free now, which is fun, but I would love to get paid to do it. Picture it: I am waiting to get out of a faculty meeting when one of the “how the hell did she graduate from college again?” teachers asks the speaker to repeat and reiterate until my ears start to bleed. Did ya listen? They already covered that! I stand up, call the offending listening impaired person an idiot, tell them that NO we can't repeat what the speaker just covered ten minutes ago and BAM! the meeting is adjourned at my discretion! I dream about a world like that. “Yes, Judge Jane, you are right. Your word is THE word. Here is your check.” Escort them out of the courtroom Byrd,,,, Who’s with me?
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