frozen memories

Okay Folks, once again I must tell you how much I LOVE Judge Judy.  I had a rough day today and when I sat down with my yogurt and my water (yes I am on another diet) to watch Judy I was not disappointed.  A woman with bleached blond hair (with purple tips) was suing an old redneck (who I swear was Jerry Reed from Smokey and the Bandit) for failing to stuff her dead pomeranian to her satisfaction.  I am not making this up.  It seems that Blondie had visions of her beloved deceased dog stuffed by this taxidermist and he failed to stuff "Fluffy," so Blondie wanted her $250.00 back, dammit!  Jerry Reed hemmed and hawed and tried to explain to Judy that this was a complicated procedure because the "client" wanted the dog to have....wait for it....MOVEABLE LIMBS!!!! I almost dropped my water bottle.  WTF?  She explained that she wanted her beloved pomeranian to have moveable limbs (like Woody from Toy Story?) so that she could dress the dog in her own little custom made leather biker outfit...complete with mini helmet....so she could (I swear I can't even type right now) strap her on the back of her Harley and ride her across the country.  Picture that my friends...I do not know how Judy kept a straight face but she did and she also told Blondie that maybe stuffing the beloved pet was not the brightest idea. Judy asked where the dog (aka carcass) was and the woman wiped away a tear and said; "In my freezer."  Holy Mother of GOD!

 Speaking of "Mother" I need to call mine and tell her this story because she once froze my dead pet parakeet (in a zip lock bag) who had died suddenly and not because I insisted on giving "Parry" a bubble bath in the sink and he got pneumonia, that was merely speculation and cannot be proven!  My mom had intended to take that bird back to the pet department at Rose's department store (because it died for no reason) but she forgot all about the yellow bird in our garage freezer until our neighbor, Judy (no relation to the Judge) bought a bunch of frozen chicken on sale and wanted to put some in our freezer.  I assume you can guess what happened.  Mom and Dad were in the family room when they heard a blood curdling scream and a crash from the garage and Judy yelled, "Marilyn what is this thing in your freezer?" My dad still tells that story at parties and Judy is still freaked out by the whole thing.  Did i mention that I have an unusual family?