Feed Me

There they stand, toes pointed in, one heel tipped up looking ever so gangly and awkward, their legs so long and thin that a good strong breeze could take them out.  They stare at us with hollow smoky eyes filled with tentative naivete with pouty lips that are still moist….not from lip gloss, but from the bulimic episode that just took place in the ladies room five minutes prior to the shot.  Romaine lettuce is loaded with calories, gak!  Their thin sweater sleeves are pulled down their skeletal arms and down over their tiny hands because, due to lack of body fat, they are always freezing.  “Oooo, I am so cold and tiny.  Help me….” The cardigans they wear are held together at their flat chest with a single button and they look away as the wind machine blows to show a tiny lace camisole….you know the store….it sounds like the rowing team founded it…. These girls need to be taken care of by big strong (preferably older, much older with offshore accounts) men.    “I am so shy and unsure of myself, and my clothes are oh so large on me, waaaaaa, can I call you daddy?” What is up with models?  This is the 21^st century! We are supposedly trying to move our young American women toward a self-confident healthy body image and yet the fashion mags and catalogues keep using prepubescent models who look so sad and incapable of doing anything besides posing for fashion mags.  C’mon American women!  Am I the only one who is totally disgusted by this image?  It’s not even the anorexic body types they that make me crazy.  It’s the “pitiful me” poses and the tentative, pidgeon-toed stance.  Put both feet firmly on the ground and act like you can take charge and make an intelligent decision!  Thin is one thing, but helpless is another.  Be thin, but be fit and self-confident! And stand up straight so you don’t fall over from lack of nutrition!

 I, however, find myself in a bad situation. Despite the pathetic models this store prefers to feature in their print ads, I love the clothes at this store.  I want to order them from this horrible catalogue, but my conscience won’t let me.  Okay, maybe the huge overblown price tags and the fact that everything in the store is way too tight on my arms may have something to do with my hesitance, but still…I love the clothes!  Michelle Obama outfitted her daughters with their children’s line!  The clothes are casual, chic, and exactly my personal style, but the models turn me off. So, it’s the ad campaign that hits me wrong and must represent who they prefer actually wears their clothing, right?  I mean is the fact that I have boobs and a butt preventing ladies like myself from looking acceptable in our society?  I drift between sizes 8 and 12, usually 12, okay maybe 14, (shut up) but it depends on what cycle of diet or rebellion I am in but seriously, my boobs never shrink no matter how much weight I lose so will I even fit into those little boy-chested tops? I can’t be the only woman out there with a woman’s body and great taste in clothing, right?  Am I forced to wear clothes from that frumpy department store because they actually fit my arms and chest?  You know the one…you can buy ugly clothes, a refrigerator, and a lawn mower at the same register... and their tools have a lifetime guarantee!!!  

Young impressionable girls who don’t have strong female role models are influenced by these waifish images and makes them think that they could also be this thin and vulnerable if only they too could exist on cigarettes and purified water….and heroin.  Yeah, I said it. Why is it that these advertising gurus feel that a woman has to appear to be weak and vulnerable to be sexy?  And who the hell over the age of 15 has a concave stomach?  That always amazes me.  The khakis balance on their jutting hip bones and there is a space hollowed out in the middle where most people have a stomach.  They seem to have a tunnel.   Is it on the mag model checklist?  Gaunt cheekbones, check, enormous eyes spaced really far apart, check, long really skinny legs with no calf muscle, check, tiny narrow feet, check, bony elbows, check.…tunnel tummy? Maybe they don’t actually call it tunnel tummy….how about  concave, hollow echo chamber where a stomach (or soul) used to be?

 Women as weak and vulnerable creatures who are not allowed to eat….I thought that crap had gone the way of corsets and petticoats, but if today’s women want to eat three squares a day and fit into these outfits they do need the modern day corset….spanks you very much. I know I spelled it wrong.  I don’t wanna get sued by my favorite company!

 Weakness in a woman is only sexy to weak insecure men, and who the hell wants to get stuck with one of those losers? I prefer a man who can handle a woman who is strong, sexy, and likes her steak medium rare…with a big hunk of chocolate cake for dessert.  I love you Du and thank you for telling me that you could never be attracted to a woman that you could snap in half. When he tells me that he holds up his pinky finger to suggest their size.  My daughter married a wonderful man with the same self confident philosophy that her father has about real women.  It gives me hope for the next generation. Strong, confident, and intelligent is where it’s at, baby.  If you don’t believe me ask my husband. He’s a keeper.