Why is it that I have a beautiful state of the art stainless steel granite covered six burner gas cooktop rockin', double oven havin', warming drawer containing kitchen, complete with butler's pantry with extra full sized fridge, etc, etc....and I prefer cooking in my outdoor cabana kitchen with the one burner on the greasy grill and the beat up outdoor refrigerator full of beer, expired bbq sauce, sandy half used bars of surfboard wax and paper plates...yes, we put paper plates in the fridge because raccoons love our trashcans...I know that makes no sense, but it isn't worth the argument with D so we all just keep putting paper product next to the Budweiser and he stays happy.
I own my dream house that I designed and Big D built for me, but as soon as the weather breaks I gravitate to the pool area and the outdoor kitchen! Our house is airy and gorgeous and I love it, but I would spend every waking hour outside if I could. Winter is over and I missed spring and summer last year and I may never go indoors again! I love the breeze blowing and the sandy footprints that never get swept up and the smell of limes as I squeeze them into my Corona while I am chopping up tomatoes for guacamole. I love wearing shorts and old t-shirts and cheap flip flops. I love to see the grandperfects little bathing suits hanging on the nozzle of the outdoor shower, and the wax covered surfboard leaning against the deck. I love that we painted the ceiling of this cabana blue and covered the walls with kitschy beach art and I totally love the towels hanging on the backs of all the deck chairs. It makes me smile to see our 14 year old lab, Marley swimming across the pool forgetting that she has arthritis. The flowers are blooming and the sea breeze is kickin' and I wonder how in the world anyone would live anywhere else. Spring is turning into summer here at the beach and the tourists are warming up their minivans so we need to enjoy the beauty while it's still ours to enjoy. Yup, I think I'll stay outside just a little longer tonight and finish reading that book I put away last summer....do I hear waves? I heard there were waves tonight.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Morning
Tomorrow is Mother's day and I am so relieved that no one will dare wake me up at dawn to eat breakfast in bed. I HATE breakfast in bed. Food and hot coffee balancing on a tray ready to spill on my bed and me with cotton mouth and bleary eyes having to eat before I can even stand the smell of food. No fun at all.
I am married to a morning person. Big D is awake before dawn even on days he doesn't have to go to work. I look forward to days off as days I can turn off that annoying alarm and sleeeeep! It amazes me that this species of humans known as "morning people" have not been pummeled to death by those of us who like wake up at a ...leisurely pace. No, I do not want breakfast in bed....EVER! I want to get up, take a nice long shower, shave my legs (yes, I shave my legs and pits (TMI?) every freakin' day!) blow dry my hair, put in my contact lenses and walk to the kitchen feelin' fresh and clean...then I want to drink at least one cup of Duncan Donuts coffee before I even think about eating anything. I just can't help it (Lady Gaga) I was born this way!
My dad is not a morning person, but unfortunately for Dad, my mom is! She has no idea why anyone would want to sleep past 7am! My dad spent his life getting up at 5:30 and driving a long commute to work and he is now retired and he is 84 years old and he wants to sleep in, okay? It's not a crime to sleep in the morning! My mom has no idea what it feels like to wake up feeling groggy and unable to speak. She is like Big D and is wide awake and cheerful in the morning and is ready to start the day before my dad and I can even read the clock. My daughter inherited my sleep patterns and of course, she married a morning person. He jumps out of bed before dawn to go surfing, go to work, or just to cook breakfast for my daughter who is in no shape to eat it before her cup of Duncan Donuts coffee!
After we were married Big D was so shocked that I did not want to wake up with him at 4:30 (AM!!!!!) and make his breakfast and hold an intelligent conversation. He didn't expect me to do it, he just thought that naturally I would want the pleasure of his company before sunrise. Hell to the nO! I cannot even function until after my shower! I can't talk, I can't think, and I definitely can't be trusted around a stove. He tried to ask me questions before sunrise and I mumbled an answer and it took him a while, but oddly enough he can now interpret my morning speak. I can mumble that it's trash day and he can decipher the root words, the rhythm of the sentence and figure out the rest. It's like Lassie barking to get Timmy's parents when he was stuck in the well... only with trash cans.
There is no way I will ever be functioning any time before 6 and that does not make me a bad person, a lazy person, or a bitchy person...okay, I am a bitchy person but that has nothing to do with my sleep patterns. ( In the words of Tina fey, "Yeah, I'm a bitch. bitches get stuff done!") I just don't like to get out of bed until I am fully awake...and that takes at least 3 snooze hits and the fear of not having time to blow dry!
So, morning people.... You are not intellectually superior...You are not better, and you are definitely not more fun than we are...you are just awake...too f-ing early!
I am married to a morning person. Big D is awake before dawn even on days he doesn't have to go to work. I look forward to days off as days I can turn off that annoying alarm and sleeeeep! It amazes me that this species of humans known as "morning people" have not been pummeled to death by those of us who like wake up at a ...leisurely pace. No, I do not want breakfast in bed....EVER! I want to get up, take a nice long shower, shave my legs (yes, I shave my legs and pits (TMI?) every freakin' day!) blow dry my hair, put in my contact lenses and walk to the kitchen feelin' fresh and clean...then I want to drink at least one cup of Duncan Donuts coffee before I even think about eating anything. I just can't help it (Lady Gaga) I was born this way!
My dad is not a morning person, but unfortunately for Dad, my mom is! She has no idea why anyone would want to sleep past 7am! My dad spent his life getting up at 5:30 and driving a long commute to work and he is now retired and he is 84 years old and he wants to sleep in, okay? It's not a crime to sleep in the morning! My mom has no idea what it feels like to wake up feeling groggy and unable to speak. She is like Big D and is wide awake and cheerful in the morning and is ready to start the day before my dad and I can even read the clock. My daughter inherited my sleep patterns and of course, she married a morning person. He jumps out of bed before dawn to go surfing, go to work, or just to cook breakfast for my daughter who is in no shape to eat it before her cup of Duncan Donuts coffee!
After we were married Big D was so shocked that I did not want to wake up with him at 4:30 (AM!!!!!) and make his breakfast and hold an intelligent conversation. He didn't expect me to do it, he just thought that naturally I would want the pleasure of his company before sunrise. Hell to the nO! I cannot even function until after my shower! I can't talk, I can't think, and I definitely can't be trusted around a stove. He tried to ask me questions before sunrise and I mumbled an answer and it took him a while, but oddly enough he can now interpret my morning speak. I can mumble that it's trash day and he can decipher the root words, the rhythm of the sentence and figure out the rest. It's like Lassie barking to get Timmy's parents when he was stuck in the well... only with trash cans.
There is no way I will ever be functioning any time before 6 and that does not make me a bad person, a lazy person, or a bitchy person...okay, I am a bitchy person but that has nothing to do with my sleep patterns. ( In the words of Tina fey, "Yeah, I'm a bitch. bitches get stuff done!") I just don't like to get out of bed until I am fully awake...and that takes at least 3 snooze hits and the fear of not having time to blow dry!
So, morning people.... You are not intellectually superior...You are not better, and you are definitely not more fun than we are...you are just awake...too f-ing early!
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