What is wrong with me? I started out very serious on Polyvore. I was matching nice normal wardrobe essentials making dream outfits when suddenly.....I found a peach tutu and then all hell broke loose. I started putting together hideous outfits and posting them on Pinterest pretending I was serious. I put a sea green tulle tea length skirt with a sequined tube top and combat boots. I added a lime green fake fur jacket and labelled it Ozark PTA Outfit. I am eating dry roasted almonds and laughing like an idiot while I destroy Polyvore! I just can't (as my fifth grade teacher told me) take anything seriously! I just can't! Everything has the possibility of humor and mocking and I have elected myself the ambassador of sarcasm and irony. I just can't let it go! I am at this very moment about to pause writing this blog to see if anyone has "liked" my outfits so I can mock them!
I put the peach tutu together with a transparent skull tank top, huge Kartrashian sunglasses and sky high multicolor wedges and an optional grass green sweatshirt with a cartoon character on it and called it "Job Interview."
The scary thing is that all of these items are by a so-called designer and cost a fortune! If I see Lindsay Lohan walking down the street in my lime green fake fur jacket buying crack on TMZ I am going to NYC and sign up at Marc Jacobs...he is in NYC, isn't he? I can't keep up with those ridiculously overpaid designers and their studios and their Brad, Brad Worlds. Seriously, I can't stand the oh so arrogant Rachel Zoe. I don't know why, maybe because my stupid joke outfits would fit in perfectly with her line of flowy crap designed for women with no boobs, or butts, or muscles, or minds of their own...she would call them "ironic."
Now, I have to go because I am in the middle of creating my Baptist Church ensemble complete with sating turban, rubber band bracelets and pleather mini skirt....wait until you see the shoes!
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