Pretentious “real” words are one thing, but pretentious ”made up” words are another. I could be considered a hypocrite for making that statement, because I make up words all the time. The difference is that I admit that my fake words are fake. Words that my friends and I use are definitely not used to impress or sound remotely legitimate. Everyone knows that doodlybop is not a real word, but when you get to be senile like me, doodlybop is whatever I am pointing to, needing you to hand me, or am picking up at that moment. The names of real objects sometimes escape me so everything becomes a doodlybop or a thingy and that's the way it has to be so get used to it. No, I'm talking about words that the latest "journalist" or talk show host throws around to describe a situation. The fake words I’m talking about are used by idiots who think that they are using real words. I work with educated folks who actually use these made up words and don’t even know they are fake! The two fake words I hate the most (today) are “functionality” and “disrespecting.” I’ll use them in a fake sentence: "This appliance will create functionality in your vintage space, not that I am disrespecting your old ass cabinets." That is a totally illegitimate bullshit sentence. Why not use the words in their proper form? I prefer: "This new 'fridge will make your old ass cabinets look better and it actually functions and will keep your tuna casserole from rotting…no disrespect." Okay maybe the meaning is a tad different in my sentence but you still get a new ‘fridge, so shut up!
What I am saying is that these new words are pretentious and are used by folks who are trying to sound like "they is college graduates." Since I have totally changed the subject I may as well run with it ...Take the bumper sticker and window decal that gives the name of a university you did not attend off of your car. Just because you went to a few football games and partied with the fraternity your cousin belonged to does not mean you earned the right to pretend you attended that school. Don't list it in your profile, use it to impress new people or wear the sweatshirt. Take it off your resume and quit telling stories about your college days 'cause you don't have any! Just because certain events happened when you were between the ages of 18 and 23 does not mean it "happened at college" 'cause you weren't enrolled! If you want to brag about going to college GO TO ONE! Taking a few semesters does not count. If you didn't get the sheepskin you don't get to claim the school as yours. Okay, I'm ready to get back on the original subject...pretentious fake words...
These idiots who parrot the made up words they hear on TV end up sounding like they is disrespecting the English language and that creates absolutely no functionality......... Disrespectful….disrespect…. function…functional….malfunction…look them up and use them properly or I will not let you ring up my purchase, decorate my house, or teach my five year old…no disrespect.
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