I was watching the news today and the report was about a bunch of dead hookers found in the dunes of a beach in New Jersey. The reporter said the murders may not be related because this area is "well known" as a perfect dumping ground for dead bodies....really? Do the cops know this? Wouldn't you think that someone would set up a Nanny cam or something? Just put a Teddy Bear with a camera in its belly in the dunes and wait! They said that the murders may not be related in any way because dead bodies are commonly found in the dunes. UMMMMM, DUH? Everyone knows that this is a popular dumping ground for dead bodies??? Maybe they should send a few rookies out there to sit in a tower or something? Am I missing something? Send a detective, send a patrol car, send a K9 unit! Send a mall cop out there on a scooter with a tazer, just send someone!
The report stated that all of the hookers were found tied up in burlap bags and dumped between the sand dunes. How did the cops know the ladies were hookers? Did they wear their hooker ID bracelets? Were they found wearing clear heels with a handful of condoms and their pimp's phone number in a rabbit fur purse? What about the dead bodies screamed I AM A HOOKER? Not to mention they were found wrapped in burlap bags...burlap bags? Where the hell do you find burlap bags in 2011? Seriously, when is the last time you saw a burlap bag for sale, much less one large enough for a standard sized hooker? Do they have a murderer's website with links to shopping? "Yes folks, www.serialkiller.com has the best prices on what every psychopath needs! We have a special first timer's package that includes everything you need to make your first rampage a success! We will include burlap bags, rope, rags soaked in chloroform (in those pop-top containers like baby wipes), a shovel and extra large cases of bleach! For an extra charge we will include a large bottle of Human Remains Febreeze guaranteed to neutralize even the most persistent odors!" They probably even have PayPal! Wake up New Jersey! Send someone out there! jeeeeez!
2 comments:
That was funny, but it was't New Jersey it was along remote dunes on Long Island in New York. they said the Hookers were from NJ 'cause you know no respected (cough, cough)NY hooker would ever be caught DEAD on long island.
"Large enough for the standard size hooker" hahah
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