Not To Sound Racist, but....

I am going to Hawaii in three weeks and instead of frying myself into a bad vacation filled with blisters,  aloe and SPF85, I decided... against my better judgement... to go tanning...at a tanning salon...full of bubble headed girls working the desk.

 I walked into the land of tan and there was no one in sight.  I could have raided the place and made off with tons of cheap (I didn't say inexpensive...I said cheap... as in crappy) lotion and all the tiny towels a person would ever need.  Instead of committing a felony I called, "Hello?"   Two very enthusiastic and very tan girls ran out of the back sipping diet Mountain Dews through twisty straws.  One was pretty and had her hair in loose blonde braids...even though she wasn't eight years old.  The other girl was painfully unattractive and really wanted to be the blond girl, but God had given her acne, mousy brown hair and thick ankles and no self esteem.  She anxiously waited for Blondie to speak so she could nod and express her admiration.

"HI! Welcome to Blue Boxxxx!  What's your name?" I told Blondie my name and waited while she searched their secret FBI controlled tanning data base for my name, fingerprints and tanning history.  She was so excited when she found out that I did not currently have a tanning plan.  She showed me the tanning package and price list sheet that was so complicated that, unless you possessed a degree in higher math, you can't figure out so you finally just point at a plan and hand them a check.  She mentioned that since I only wanted to tan for three weeks that I purchase the unlimited month plan.  I said I only needed three weeks.  She showed me the sound business sense of purchasing the month plan...which was to pay for five weeks.  I asked her why it wasn't for four weeks and she explained that their month was five weeks long.  I asked if they were on the Mayan calendar...because in our part of the world a month contained four weeks.  She exhaled in frustration, rolled her eyes at her unfortunate protege and said: "Our month is five weeks long."  I realized that you can't argue with a really tan eight year old so I said, "Just pick the package that  will ensure that I look fabulous in shorts and, to her credit, she didn't hand me a Jenny Craig application, just a tanning package." I handed her my credit card and then, much to my surprise I noticed that there was a hefty tax on my five week month of tanning.  Blondie told me to thank Obama.  "What? Did Barack not want me to be tan?"  Blondie then said the most obnoxious words in the english language...."Not to be racist, but...."  Those words are always followed by an extremely racist comment.  "Obama found a way to stick it to the white people!"

I could not believe it.  Here we are in the year 2012 and this young person, who's ignorance was palpable, was spouting racism in a place of business.   I told her that stating what she stated was exactly that, racist, ignorant, and no way to converse with customers. Just because you preface a racist statement with an "I'm not racist" disclaimer does not negate the racist comment you are about to make!   Did she think that because I was white that she could assume that I felt the same rage against a black president that she felt?  I explained to the idiot that the tax was similar to the tax on cigarettes. The tax was based on urging people to make healthy choices.  She had no idea what I was talking about.  Not only was I totally offended by her ignorance, but it also happened to be the day we celebrate Martin Luther King! Did she see the irony?  NO!  She would have to know what irony meant and as she showed me earlier...she has no idea how to read a calendar!